alright so if you aren’t prepared for a little emotional bullshit, stop reading now, and unfollow my tumblr. cause this, this right here is what i use it for. venting about emotional shit that people may or may not be able to relate to. God, where do i even begin? how bout the typical question, are you okay? i know you almost drowned the other day, are you okay? well yeah, without you fucking talking about it, as long as its off my mind the fear of being consumed by it isnt prevalent. Yes, its still there but talking about it does me no good. yeah i know, comparing a break up or an ex girlfriend to drowning is quite mellow dramatic, but if you’d been through the shit i put up with, all with a smile like me, maybe you’d fucking get it. i’ve never been so emotionally conflicted. i want to hate her. i want to hate her with EVERYTHING inside of me, i want to believe she’s a whore or a slut who jumps from guy to guy like some kind of parasitic whore virus. which may or may not be true, the shitty part is, while every part of me wants to hate her every part of me wants to love her. every part of me wants to believe every god damn lie she told me just to get my fucking pants off. i want to believe there was some kind of meaning when i looked in her eyes and truly thought there was something more special about me than any other guy she had been with. that whatever it was that was inside me that she saw, would be enough to make her stay. well it wasnt. now im not sure it was ever even there. and even worse i dont know what im feeling towards her. i think this is her aim. she likes fucking with me physically and emotionally cause she thinks its amusing in more ways than one. well you know guys always get a bad rep for being players and assholes but if i didn’t just get fucking played what was that?! i think women can be just as shitty as men, yeah that’s no excuse for EITHER to be shitty towards another but its like women are always portrayed as the ones being wronged by awful men when it so isnt always like that! guys have a fucking heart. yeah some are awful but then again some women are just as bad! i’m not some kind of heartless fuck cause i have a dick! And it’s so shitty, cause no matter how great i think i feel, the next time i hear her name it all comes crashing down. i lose my shit all over again. yeah im not weak and i can live on my own but it’s so hard to imagine that while she’s off slutting around with all these guys, she was probably like that while with me too, i just never saw it cause i was blinded by her deception. what’s a man to do…
emotional rant…
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Stranger: yo
You: hey
Stranger: 17
Stranger: f
Stranger: usa
You: 17 male usa
Stranger: hey hey heeey!
You: haha yeah how bout that, huh? xD
Stranger: das coool, nomsayin?
You: yeah i know whatcha mean xD Im Brendan. nice to meet you :)
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da faq????
I remember all the late night talks and all the words I was so comfortable saying to her, but I never would have been able to say to anyone else. I remember all the songs that take me back and make me smile. I remember all the promises, the ones we both knew would be broken. I remember all the moments she took my breath away and how she knew more about me than I thought anyone could. I remember the games we’d play because we talked about so much we couldn’t think of anything else to say. I thought about what kind of person could have thrown that all away and hurt someone that much. Going into it, I never thought that it would have ended like that. After wanting someone for so long, it’s supposed to be perfect, right? And everything should last forever, but she fell out of love, and when you loved someone you just wanted them to be happy. Even if their happiness doesn’t involve you…
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